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Shockingly, 16% of UK adults have experienced financial abuse.

Financial abuse, otherwise known as economic abuse, is when somebody uses money and/or your financial circumstances to control, threaten, or blackmail you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, old or young, in a new relationship or have been married for 30 years – financial abuse can happen to anyone, at any time.

It’s also crucial to remember that financial abuse doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships; it can occur at the hands of a family member, friend, employer, or even a carer.

Our guide shares some of the warning signs of financial abuse and the things you can do if you suspect that you or a loved one are at risk.

How common is financial abuse?

Sadly, financial abuse is not uncommon, particularly in settings where other types of abuse are already taking place. 95% of domestic abuse cases include financial abuse.

Financial abuse: things to look out for

Financial abuse can be tricky to spot. This is because somebody who is attempting to control or abuse you may be clever about it. They might make you believe that they’re acting the way they are because you deserve it.

This is absolutely not the case. You deserve to be treated with respect, dignity, and kindness, especially from somebody you love. Anybody who makes you feel bad about yourself or uses words, threats, or physical violence to control or frighten you does not have your best intentions at heart and isn’t worthy of your time.

If somebody is financially abusing you, they might do one or more of the following:

    • Take your money.
    • Control how much money you spend and what you spend it on.
    • Limit your resources, such as only allowing you a set amount of money to spend on food.
    • Restrict your access to your online bank account.
    • Insist that they have your password(s) and PIN(s).
    • Withhold important financial information from you, such as household bills.
    • Interrogate you about your spending.
    • Ask you to give them receipts when you’ve spent money so that they can inspect them.
    • Apply for credit – including loans and credit cards – in your name.
    • Tell you how many hours you can and can’t work. This could include making you take on overtime or encouraging you to quit your job.
    • Refuse to pay their share of any joint bills or credit commitments.
    • Pressure you into making a financial decision that you can’t afford or that you’re not comfortable with. This could be anything from a takeaway to a new kitchen. If you can’t afford or don’t want to spend your money on something, regardless of how small the cost, then that is your decision, and it must be respected.
    • Force you to change your will.

Please note that the above list is not exclusive; these are general examples, and you should be aware that there are many other ways that somebody might try and control you and your finances.

Some of the things that somebody who is financially abusing you might say:

    • ‘I’m doing this because I care.’
    • ‘I want what’s best for you.’
    • ‘You know you’re not very good with money; it’s for the best if I handle the finances.’
    • ‘You don’t need to worry; I’m taking care of everything.’
    • ‘That’s a waste of money. You’re not buying that/going there.’

In some instances, the above phrases may be said with good intentions. A loved one might genuinely believe that they’re helping – but that doesn’t mean that they’re entitled to dictate what you do with your money.
Whether your income comes from a wage, benefits, or a pension, the money you earn is YOURS.

If you’re unsure about someone’s intentions, try to take note of how the communication makes you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, or your gut is telling you that something isn’t right, it’s important to listen to your feelings.

Another good way to gain perspective on the situation is to imagine that someone you care about is going through what you’re currently experiencing. Would you be concerned? If the answer is yes, then now is the time to put a plan in place to protect yourself.

What can I do if I think that I, or someone I love, is being financially abused?

If you’re reading this guide and recognise some of the signs of financial abuse, please, please know that you do not have to go through this alone.
Abuse – in any form – is never acceptable. It’s not your fault and you don’t deserve it, regardless of what you’ve been told or how you’ve been made to feel about yourself.

We’re going to break this section down into two parts: what to do if you think you’re being financially abused, followed by what to do if you think a loved one is being financially abused. In both situations, your safety, and/or the safety of the person experiencing the abuse, is the most important thing. Please do not put yourself or a loved one in a dangerous position. Any immediate threat or danger should be reported to the police.

What to do if you think you’re being financially abused

Again, we must stress here that these steps should only be taken if it’s safe for you to do so.

    • Talk to someone you trust, such as a family member, friend, work colleague, or GP. It’s really important to let someone know what’s going on.

    • Reach out to a helpline. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to someone you know, we’ve included details of various helplines and charities at the bottom of the page. A trained advisor will listen to your situation with empathy and respect, and help you work out what to do next.

    • Contact your bank. Most will have a specialist financial abuse support team who will be able to help you secure your account and advise you on any steps you could take next, such as cancelling current debit or credit cards.

    • Change your password(s) and PIN(s).

    • Check your credit report if you suspect that someone has applied for or taken out credit in your name. This is fraud and can be reported to the police or Action Fraud. You can check your credit report for free with Experian.

    • Document any evidence. This could include screenshots of messages or bank transfers. Of course, this might not be a good idea if the abuser goes through your phone. You may wish to send the evidence to someone you trust so that they can keep it safe for you.

    • Set an emergency plan in case this is something you need in the future. This could include putting some money aside for yourself if you’re able to; coming up with an emergency codeword that you can send to family or friends in an urgent situation; or asking someone you trust to keep a bag of essentials in their car or at their home in the event that you need to leave in a hurry.

What to do if you think a loved one is being financially abused

    • Be vigilant and know the signs. If someone is being financially abused, they might appear anxious when spending money; withdraw from friends, family, and social situations; quit their job seemingly out of the blue or suddenly take on more working hours or an additional job; be meticulous in keeping receipts; or make comments about not being ‘allowed’ to buy or do certain things.
      It’s important to understand that the above could also suggest that someone you care about is going through a bad patch, which may or may not be related to financial abuse. If you suspect that a loved one is struggling, make a habit of regularly checking in and reminding them you’re there if they need to talk.

    • Listen. Sometimes, people tell us their problems not because they want an immediate resolution, but because they simply need a trustworthy person to listen to what they’re feeling. Expressing their concerns out loud could help them process a difficult situation.

    • Be patient. Don’t push your loved one into making any decisions; they might need time to come to their own conclusions. Sharing their concerns with you is already a step in the right direction.

    • Offer support, but don’t judge. It can be very upsetting to hear that someone we care about is going through a tough time at the hands of somebody else, but badmouthing the abuser isn’t the approach to take, as this could put the victim off speaking to you again. Try not to allow your own emotions to take over.

    • Create a safe space. Reassure your loved one that you’re there for them if and when needed. Maintain contact with them, even if they withdraw from you. If they seem increasingly worried about money, suggest free activities, such as meeting up to go for a walk or inviting them round for a coffee.
      You could suggest that they give you a spare set of clothes and toiletries to keep at your house in case they need to make a quick getaway.

    • Share a list of helpful resources, either in your local area or UK-wide. We’ve included some helpline numbers at the bottom of the page which you might suggest your loved one contacts. Please only do this if it’s safe to do so. If the abuser has access to the victim’s phone, it might not be wise to send them anything by text.

Help is available

    • Charity Surviving Economic Abuse offers a range of information on their website. In addition to this, they also work with Money Advice Plus to provide a free support line which is available from Monday to Friday between 9am -1pm and 2pm – 5pm. Callers who do not speak English as a first language can ask for an interpretation service. The number is 0808 196 8845.

    • Refuge is a charity that supports women and children who have suffered domestic abuse. They have a designated economic abuse page on their website, and their free helpline – for all types of domestic abuse – is available to call 24/7, on 0808 2000 247.

    • ManKind provides support to men who are experiencing all types of domestic abuse, including financial abuse. Their freephone number is 0808 800 1170 and will not appear on your bills. You can call ManKind from Monday to Friday between the hours of 10am and 4pm, excluding bank holidays.

    • Respect Men’s Advice Line offers help and guidance to male victims of domestic abuse and can be called for free on 0808 801 0327. Their lines are open Monday to Friday, from 10am to 5pm, and the call will not show up on your phone bill. You can also email them during the same hours on info@mensadviceline.org.uk

    • If you are being threatened, feel unsafe, or worry that there’s a risk to your life, please call the police on 999.

If you’re worried about your finances, the following charities and organisations can offer free, confidential money and debt management advice:

You’re not alone

Being abused by someone you trust is heartbreaking and can lead to a range of emotions, such as shame, denial, rage, depression, and guilt. Please remember that you have nothing to feel ashamed of. This is not your fault. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the abuser. They’re the problem, not you.

Breaking the cycle of abuse can be one of the hardest and bravest things to do, especially when it requires us to stand up to someone we love.
Know that you are worth so much more than the poor treatment you’re receiving.
If you’re facing abuse of any kind, we hope the information we’ve shared has provided some support and that you find the strength to break free and pursue the life you deserve.