Talking about money might not be one of the most romantic conversations that you can have with your partner but it is one of the most important.
Frank discussions around finance will help ensure that you’re both aligned in terms of your goals and what you want from life.
At the same time, it will help ensure that you’re both in full possession of all the facts, should either of you need help with money now or run into trouble in the future.
According to Relate, the UK’s leading supplier of relationship support, finances are one of the biggest causes of arguments among couples.
Here CashLady looks at how to talk about money honestly with your valentine, including picking the right time to talk and taking a quiz about your attitudes to money.
Talking about money with your valentine
For many of us, talking about money isn’t easy.
We might have had a difficult relationship with money growing up, feel uncomfortable discussing how much we earn or feel ashamed about sliding into debt.
Key to building a secure future with someone, however, involves being open and honest, particularly when it comes to money.
If you’re finding it difficult to talk about money honestly with your valentine or feel like they’re having trouble talking to you then try following our tips below.
Tips to talk about money
Talking about money with your valentine might create strong emotions and can at times feel confrontational on both sides.
You can avoid potential conflict by approaching the conversation carefully and planning how you will handle the subject.
Treat talking about money like professionals
Talking about money is much easier if you forget about your personal relationship and treat it like a business meeting.
Removing feelings from the equation and dealing with the facts will help the conversation stay on course so that it is practical with you speaking to one another like adults and with respect.
Pick the right time to talk money
Try to pick the right time to talk about money.
Avoid after work if you’re both tired or stresses and try to do it in a relaxed atmosphere with nobody else around.
Take turns to speak
It might sound like an obvious one but when talking about money things can get heated and people can get defensive.
Stay cool and take it in turns to speak. Properly listen to what your partner is saying instead of talking over them as you try to get your point across.
Talk honestly about money
The more open and honest that you can he when talking about money, the more open your partner will feel.
It also helps to remember that not everyone values or thinks about money in the same way and so be patient and open-minded.
You might be more focused on saving and planning for the future, while your partner lives in the now.
Take a money quiz
Relate offers a helpful money quiz that allows you to compare results and better understand your differing approaches to money and possible areas of conflict.
This could be particularly helpful if you don’t know where to start when it comes to talking money and you want to kick the conversation off.
Make a money plan with your partner
If talking about money is important then planning the next steps is crucial, especially if either of you has money worries.
Draw up a plan and break down into little manageable steps that you both agree on.
Talking about money and creating a plan will help you work together and feel like you’re overcoming any problems and working towards a secure financial future.
Keep talking about money
Talking about money is something that you’re going to have to do regularly.
Checking in with each other about money every week or so will help avoid resentments or bottling up issues or worries that would be better shared.
Keep the channels of communication open and remember that talking about worries or problems is so much better than keeping them to yourself.